Why is this news? Paris Hilton edition...

On cnn.com this morning, I learned that Paris Hilton "escaped unharmed" from a car wreck. Surely she must have been pried free of the tangled wreckage using the jaws of life, seconds before the vehicle exploded into a fireball? Nah, she was riding in somebody's Bentley and they rear-ended a truck. It "scratched the hood of the car." So not even a fender-bender. A hood-scratcher. Glad we're up-to-date on that.

It was on the front page of cnn.com, and not even in the "Entertainment" section, but in the "U.S." section. I'm living in a nation of morons.

Next up: Paris' dry-cleaner ruins a really nice sweater. The shocking footage at 11:00.